I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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