So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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