you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
