Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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