After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
