Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
