The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
