I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Never joke about your clitoris.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
