I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
