who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
