My room smells like vodka and shame
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
