So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
