i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
