Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
