She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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