Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
