i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
