I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
