shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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