where does the pee come out of this thing
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
