Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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