Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Randomize
