I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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