i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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