Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
