physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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