and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
