The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
