Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
