Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I believe in your delicious
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
