the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
