you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
