Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
