I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
