4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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