Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
