Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
