who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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