I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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