love makes seman taste better
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
