what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
