we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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