im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
