Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
