Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
