now i know why i became what i already was.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
