if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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