After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
