We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
