Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
