I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
