please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Who died my cat blue again?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
