do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
